To Work Or Not To Work

The count-down has begun for the transition– the transmutation of a stay-at-home woman to a working woman! Once again it’s time for the changeover, the metamorphosis of this lady, meaning me.

My spouse works at the mercy of the Indian Government’s whims and fancy. He gets transferred to new cities and towns every few years. I being his devoted better-half mutely agree to pack my bags and move with him, offering to resign from my job each time.

The days in between jobs are days of self-conflict and self-assessments. Laziness kicks in and I toy with the idea of whether to go job-hunting or to enjoy my sabbatical.

When I am home I enjoy my home-time. I go into hibernation. I make a business of an un-hurried approach to everything. I am in control of my own time. I look forward to leisurely reading the newspaper, unhurried morning walks, lazy afternoons of soap on the TV, hunting for recipes (no worries that they often end disastrous), post-dinner chats with my husband and child, banish that monstrous thing called an alarm clock!

As days turn to months life becomes monotonous. I start to dread the boredom of my daily existence. Some days I am plagued with an identity crisis. The devil raises its horns- doubts fill my fragile mind.

I don’t seem to fit into the breed of efficient do-all, know-all, prim-proper ladies who stay at home,  make perfect round soft roti’s, picture perfect veg-pulao, cakes, farsan and pickles. They who enjoy their leisure time shopping, visiting spas and attending kitty-parties or simply dropping by for friendly chit-chat over chai-pani at friends. I truly envy them. I can’t even braid my child’s hair let alone make a perfect palak-paneer. I detest shopping and most social do’s (unless absolutely necessary and forced to go) my trips outside my home become a rarity and the only humans I interact with are my family, my house-maid, my press-walla and sabji-walla. That’s when I start feeling truly fossilized.

So I choose to arm myself with a freshly typed out resume, my countless work experience certificates (collected from all over the country) and march around town, job hunting.

Now the thing is, once I am offered the job, I start debating with myself as to whether I should throw myself back into the job-market or stay put. Should I give up all this for hurried days of rushing? Being at the beck and call of an authority? Face irritating arguments with teenage students? The herculean task of getting a class in order. Evaluating answer sheets. Assessing student’s values and attitudes towards teachers, mates, the environment (a necessary evil started by the C.C.E introduced by CBSE board a few years ago), coming home drained of all strength, snapping at everyone , wanting to be left alone after a tiring day at work! Do I want this vortex of activity to sweep into my life once again?

I join work on 1^st of April, is it a coincidence that it’s April Fool’s Day? I will be finding that out pretty soon I guess, the question is should I join the army of working women or just put my feet up and snuggle with a good book?