26 March 2019

Parenting Past And Present

My husband's friend called him up yesterday. His excitement was palpable even on the phone. Their son had been accepted into California Institute of Technology to do his masters in Aeronautical Engineering. They were jubilant.They were going to the US to help their son settle down.  As  parents they were going to help their son  in his admissions and  in the accommodation process.

Rewind to the year 1988. I was on a train travelling from Guwahati to Delhi carrying my dreams in a holdall. I had first heard about JNU and DU through friends and neighbors. Students and faculty members who were Delhi-returned always impressed me. I was determined to pursue my post graduation from Delhi. All that I had heard was that there was to be an entrance exam and if I cleared it, I could get admission into the prestigious Delhi University. When I broached the topic of this grand plan of mine, my father immediately rubbished the idea.

I harped on for days about my intentions. Mealtimes resembled a cold war zone. I stuck to my guns and my father retaliated with some tales about how Mr X, Y or Z's child who had gone to study in  Delhi and had returned a recluse. In their attempt to dissuade me, my parents  would often quote that everyone in the DU campus smoked weed. They went on to great lengths to explain how Delhites had a 'criminal mentality' and that rape and molestations were rampant there.

Nevertheless, being a stubborn Scorpion, I carried on my feud with them. I was 20 years old, naive and unexposed to any place or culture other then my own. But the young are fearless and adventure runs in their blood. So I decided to carry on with my plans regardless.


My Sister and my brother in law were quite supportive of my plans to study at Delhi University

My parents belonged to that generation where the elders dictated and the youngsters just meekly followed. They cared for their children but they had a different approach to parenting. We didn't argue with our parents and their word was law. Yet I was a rebellious child and never went by the rule book. My father was strict but I preferred to do things my way. In my opinion, our generation was never close to our parents. We respected them but they were not our buddies.


My parents And Me
Parenting today is a whole new ball game. Parents are totally involved in the holistic development of the child. They share their views and opinions. They have open discussions. The whole family plans together- meals, holidays, future career plans, you name it! 

My father did not come with me to Delhi for my admissions. My father never looked into my school or college syllabus or admissions. He disagreed with my  choices but in the end, I guess things worked out okay. Today I understand that fathers played a different role in those days. They were loving, caring and protective. They just had their own ways of showing it.


This post has been written for Indiblogger -InSpireEdition266

 

27 February 2019

Majuli A Treasure Island


Once upon a time, long long ago, there was a land through which flowed a hundred rivers. The Dihing, Disang, Dikhow, Subansiri, Kopili to name just a few. The mightiest of them all however, was a mythical male river Luit, commonly known as the Brahmaputra. It flowed down the lofty northern mountains, swift and deep.



Many moons ago, recurring earthquakes shook and shifted the land and persistent floods broke riverbanks. The Dihing and the Luit intertwined and created an emerald island called Majuli – the land between the two rivers.
Legend has it that madly in love, Krishna and Rukmini decided to elope together. They travelled across many places, finally discovering a jade green isle floating on the Brahmaputra. Krishna, smitten by the serene beauty of the island declared it the second Dwarka, the kingdom of the creator himself.



Historical texts reveal that Majuli was formed sometime around 1750. Many ethnic groups and tribes have been living on this island for more than 200 years, co-existing in peace and harmony, enjoying nature's bounty. It was this tranquillity and isolation of Majuli that drew the great Bhakti saint Srimanta Sankardev to establish the Satra culture at Majuli. In the 16th century, Sankardev initiated the Ekasarana Dharma (literally translating to shelter under one religion). The chanting of prayers or naam is considered a superior form of devotion. Idol worship and rituals are forbidden.
Sankardev and his chief disciple Madhabdev established the two unique institutions of Assam – The 'Namghar' (prayer halls) and the 'Satras' (monasteries). Both these institutes are intimately associated with the social, cultural and religious life of Assamese society.


A cultural mosaic

Majuli is like the Vatican of Neo-Vaishnavism. Sankardev established 65 Satras in Majuli of which 22 are operational. Satras are sacred places where the bhakats (monks) maintain celibate stature and spend their days in prayer and the ways of living expounded by their great saint leader.



A young bhakat in a Satra at Majuli

The founding father of the cultural revolution in Assam, Srimanta Sankardev, gave religion an artistic form by introducing the borgeet (devotional songs), ankia nat (one-act plays based on the life of Lord Krishna), bhaona (musical plays based on religion), and the sattriya dance (a classical dance-drama based on Krishna's life). In Majuli, the Satras became the centres of art and culture.



A Bhaona performance 

Armed with all of this knowledge I set out to discover the island of Majuli. Leaving the hustle and bustle of city life behind our boat set sail from Neemati Ghat, Jorhat and headed for Kamalabari Ghat in Majuli.

The ferry ride across the Brahmaputra
The ferry ride across the mighty river Brahmaputra (which costs ₹15 and takes about an hour) was exhilarating. I shared space with the islanders crammed in between their cars and bikes. Majuli Island is huge and spans around 880 square kilometres, so hiring some kind of transport is probably a good idea.
A pre-booked Tata Sumo taxi cost me ₹1500 for 8 hours and was already waiting to take me to the hotel when I arrived. The driver doubled up as a guide. Other transport options include shared taxis, rickshaws or even hiring a cycle or a scooter!



Majuli is almost untouched by the modern world. The locals mostly live in traditional bamboo and mud houses (no multi-stored buildings here), cook their food on firewood and weave their own clothes. Few hotels and home-stay options are available with bare basics but it's not for 5-star comfort that you want to visit Majuli. If luxury is usually your cup of tea then do not cross the Brahmaputra.

Things to do in Majuli:
1. Drop off the urbanised masquerade and live a day of your life in simplicity.
2. Wake up at dawn to the cacophony of parrots.
3. Be amazed at magical sunsets across the wetlands.


4. Embrace the twinkling fireflies under clear starry skies.
5. Be wonderstruck at the luxuriant growth of foliage, especially the cane and bamboo trees that line the narrow pathways that crisscross the island.
6. Experience the freshly cooked simple meals in unpretentious wayside dhabas.
7. Soak in the countryside charm of emerald green paddy fields.
8. Stroll into a Mishing village and savour their traditional food and local rice beer called apong.

A Missing tribal village at Majuli
9. Watch bamboo and clay turn into fierce mythological character masks in Samaguri Satra.

Mask making at Samaguri Satra
10. Meditate at a naam ghar or better still be a part of the evening prayers with the bhakats.
11. Get mesmerised by the Bhaona and Ankiya Nat.
12. Feel humbled inside a Satra for its vast history and tradition.
13. Finally, visit Majuli because it is a pearl nestled in the middle of a huge river and it is sadly eroding away. Majuli is shrinking in size due to erosion and may cease to exist in about fifteen or twenty years. Visit this cultural mosaic before the waters of the Luit submerge it forever.

8 January 2019

Missing You Ma

The sun rose in the eastern sky for the last time in 2018 and my mother's blue and green love birds that she cared for so dearly chirped and went about their morning business. They say that birds can sense a change in their environment. They were very quiet around the 29th of December. Was it the cold wet day that made then so quiet or was it because that was the day that my mother passed away leaving us to walk among the angels?


My mother Anny Koshy was born in God's own country- Kerala. At the age of 18 she travelled across India to the north eastern state of Assam to fulfil her fervent desire to become a doctor. While pursuing her MBBS she met my father Dr Aroon Das. They felt an instant attraction for one another and started a journey of love that has lasted a lifetime- the stuff that movies are made of!


My mother lived a very disciplined life. She taught us the importance of healthy living. Her morning walks are legendary for their punctuality, as well as the post walk laughter sessions she had with her friends all of who are at least 10 years her junior and from different socio-economic strata.
 Dr Anny Das became a well-known personality in the Uzanbazar area of Guwahati. Her lifetime of service as a doctor has left her patients full of anecdotes about her compassionate and selfless nature.Her humour and wit would often cure the sick even before they actually started their medication. 
Not many people knew this, but Anny was a woman of many enduring talents. Not only was she a great mother and wife, she was also a talented sportswoman. She was the best female athlete in her medical college, and she was also a swimmer for many years. Never in her entire life did she let her gender hold her back. She was a glowing example for both me and my sister of the fact that a woman can truly achieve anything that she puts her mind to. Even at the age of 81,she adapted to the ever-growing technological world.She would gladly converse with her family and friends using WhatsApp, share selfie images and even book Uber cabs.


Above all else however, travelling was her true passion- be it to the Lake District in UK or to visit her favourite grandchild in Bangalore. Her mind would never stop planning: new curtains, a trip to visit the Maasai Mara tribes of Kenya or creating a culinary dish for her family to savour. She was truly such a multifaceted woman that I find it hard now to encapsulate the essence of her whole being onto paper.
We will miss you Ma, in all the coming years of our lives. I know you will always be with us, forever smiling and happy.
 
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