Those Tiring Times Of Boredom

It’s the summer vacations and I am home alone. The house and the neighborhood is so quiet I can hear myself breath.

A friend of mine once asked me that don't I get bored living alone. And that set me thinking:

When are the actual times I get bored?

So I made a list of such tiring times, check out my list maybe you can relate to them as well, or is it that I am the last man standing-bored!

Number one on my list of very tiresome times is this situation- I walk into a room full of people. It’s an informal gathering. After a while I realize that it’s going to be a long evening of exchanging pleasantries and conversations which I don’t want to partake. Smiling and keeping good humour becomes painful. Facial spasms threaten to attack! A glass of wine sometimes helps blur the moronic act I am performing. I sometimes even fantasize electrocuting few of those around me to pass the time. And then the food escape! But this too if woody and bland, I curse my fate at having wasted one  precious evening of my life in the company of people I don’t really care about. That’s when I am truly bored!

Seminars and conferences (which thank god are sparse in my life) are another bore. When the topic being discussed has little relevance to my understanding, then it becomes close to a death trap! There is no escape. Time seems to slow down. Looking at the wrist watch and stifling a yawn every few minutes only increases the frustration. I start to do mental experiments imagining hilarious situations like, had this been a set in a Bollywood blockbuster, what are its possibilities! Sometimes I read body language, hum a tune in my head, plan my dinner menu, anything that keeps me from falling asleep. 

Sometimes hype around a new release and smart advertising takesme to the movies first day first show. After a while I realise that the director must have been doped (especially in the 2^nd half) and I am sitting in a theatre watching utter nonsense. This gets more madding when I realize I had shelled out a fortune to watch this irrational juxtaposition of images! Hold on, I am the master here I can always leave. Only that my partner too should share the same view, or else I am forced to sit through three hours of counting popcorn to ward off the boredom!

Lastly, certain conversations can be a bore. It maybe over the phone (then I am spared from having to show that I am physically following the speaker, by nodding at the right moment and smiling politely) The speaker has no clue that he/she is strangling me with this flow of words which are mostly" I-centric". Since the universe revolves around him/her and I am an alien there, my brain shuts down all its vital functions and I transform myself into a happy butterfly and fly far away from this terribly boring conversation.

So now that I am in quarantine and can pursue all my interests without interruptions, boredom is far from my mind. 24 hours seen so less when you are alone! Don’t get me wrong here, it’s not that I am a total recluse. Far from it, I enjoy the company of educated and interesting people. Fatigue rarely visits in engaging company. In fact I look forward to stimulating conversations. But I enjoy my solitude. No Man is an island, so said John Donne, but I would rather be in an island alone, then have insipid company.