The Foot In Mouth Disease!

I was getting married and was full of bridal excitement .One day when some relatives dropped by to enquire about my fiancé, I gushed out proudly that he was 5 feet 12 inches!

You may be thinking, this can happen to a young damsel; especially before her upcoming life changing event, or maybe she is just math’s dyslexic. However, I recall being infected with this foot in mouth disease in childhood itself.

 In the boarding house where I was lodged at the age of five,  one day very confidently I told a group of seniors, my home address. They had enquired about which house I belonged to (Blue, Green, Red you get the idea)

This is my condition even today. This goes to prove that age doesn't reduce the symptoms of this serious medical condition.

At an official dinner with my husband, I once gave a fiery speech about the notorious “baba culture” we have in India. Their fakeness, pretence and the money making racket they all were into. It was much later that I understood why my husband had been giving me the silent treatment all evening. Apparently, his boss and the wife, who had been a part of my very polite audience, were also zealous disciples of a certain babaji! Hari Om!

 Once in an interview with the principal of a school, I very confidently asked him if he was a Malayalee and added that he looked exactly like one.  To this he curtly replied that he was actually a Jat from Haryana!  You can imagine how foolish I felt. But somehow this faux pas had broken the ice. The atmosphere in the room became less oppressive and yes I got the job.

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I am always saying the wrong things at the wrong time! My husband says it’s a wiring defect not a disease! Either I don’t hear clearly or speak too fast. I am always jumping to conclusions. At social gatherings after I have downed a few margaritas, the infection gets more pronounced but the blessing is, no one recalls anything the next day and least of all me!

 I should also give some credit to this disease; after all it’s a part of me now. It always brings about a change in expression especially on very serious and polite people. They may look shocked, confused, embarrassed or even just smile. Somehow people instantly feel more comfortable around me. They probably think how foolish/silly/dim witted I am, but I don’t mind. At my age I am way beyond trying to score brownie points. The good thing is sometimes being silly and saying the wrong stuff just makes things right.

So maybe you don’t always have to measure your words and watch where you place your foot. The journey of life gets more interesting when you sometimes make mistakes or take the wrong turn.The best part is you'll never run out of stories to recall.