Parenting Past And Present

My husband's friend called him up yesterday. His excitement was palpable even on the phone. Their son had been accepted into California Institute of Technology to do his masters in Aeronautical Engineering. They were jubilant.They were going to the US to help their son settle down.  As  parents they were going to help their son  in his admissions and  in the accommodation process.

Rewind to the year 1988. I was on a train travelling from Guwahati to Delhi carrying my dreams in a holdall. I had first heard about JNU and DU through friends and neighbors. Students and faculty members who were Delhi-returned always impressed me. I was determined to pursue my post graduation from Delhi. All that I had heard was that there was to be an entrance exam and if I cleared it, I could get admission into the prestigious Delhi University. When I broached the topic of this grand plan of mine, my father immediately rubbished the idea.

I harped on for days about my intentions. Mealtimes resembled a cold war zone. I stuck to my guns and my father retaliated with some tales about how Mr X, Y or Z's child who had gone to study in  Delhi and had returned a recluse. In their attempt to dissuade me, my parents  would often quote that everyone in the DU campus smoked weed. They went on to great lengths to explain how Delhites had a 'criminal mentality' and that rape and molestations were rampant there.

Nevertheless, being a stubborn Scorpion, I carried on my feud with them. I was 20 years old, naive and unexposed to any place or culture other then my own. But the young are fearless and adventure runs in their blood. So I decided to carry on with my plans regardless.

My Sister and my brother in law were quite supportive of my plans to study at Delhi University

My parents belonged to that generation where the elders dictated and the youngsters just meekly followed. They cared for their children but they had a different approach to parenting. We didn't argue with our parents and their word was law. Yet I was a rebellious child and never went by the rule book. My father was strict but I preferred to do things my way. In my opinion, our generation was never close to our parents. We respected them but they were not our buddies.

My parents And Me

Parenting today is a whole new ball game. Parents are totally involved in the holistic development of the child. They share their views and opinions. They have open discussions. The whole family plans together- meals, holidays, future career plans, you name it! 

My father did not come with me to Delhi for my admissions. My father never looked into my school or college syllabus or admissions. He disagreed with my  choices but in the end, I guess things worked out okay. Today I understand that fathers played a different role in those days. They were loving, caring and protective. They just had their own ways of showing it.

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