Friday, February 19, 2016

The Pain Of Loss

Have you ever loved and lost.......said the lines in a blog post. It opened a floodgate of memories from my past. Images opened up an old pain.Something that I had buried deep,so deep came back to haunt me and make me vulnerable once again.

Slowly I walk back, each step fills me with longing. Nostalgia rips my soul. The pain is unbearable now and tears start to flow. I am held  transfixed.
The doctor had given his final verdict. He asked me to take her home. She had only a few weeks to live, he said. The words pierced me and tore me apart. How can I  live without her? This cannot be. It's not true. Sometimes truth hurts so much that you would rather live a lie. I was left with no choice.

I took her home. Her head on my lap. She lay there softly breathing. I whispered her name again and again. She looked up at me with so much love, just pure love.

She had been a part of my life for six years now giving me so much happiness and joy. Every waking hour we spend together was so perfect. Her eyes lit up every time she saw me.The love for long walks, good food and afternoon siesta held us together.I did most of the talking, she was a good listener. The bond grew with the passing years. I got so used to her, did I start taking her for granted?

Out of the blue she fell ill. She was tired and exhausted all the time. Her hair fell in clumps and she lost her appetite.Nothing made sense any more.Tests revealed a tumour so malignant that she had just a few days of life left to live.

That last night we spend together, I woke up every hour to check on her. She would look into my eyes and as I slowly stroked her soft hair and whispered her name, she  would wag her tail. That was the last time she wagged her tail. In the morning she was gone. Her still body lay lifeless in the couch. I held her and wept till I could weep no more.

I buried her in my garden under the shade of  a tree and said a prayer. Rani you will be missed. No one can replace you and I will never stop loving you. Have I loved and lost? Yes I have loved,lost but gained many lessons in love.
(This Post is written in line with the IndiSpire Prompt 105 #LifeWithoutYou)

Thursday, February 18, 2016

The JNU Imbroglio

The dry and dusty landscape dotted with red brick apartment blocks greeted me as my DTC bus approached Munirka.The year was 1989. It was the year that had witnessed historic events like the ending of the Soviet-Afghan war,George.W.Bush taking over as the new President of the United States,the students protest at the Tiananmen Square etc. 
I was a young 22 year old  student of Delhi University pursuing post graduation in History and I was visiting the JNU campus to meet some friends.

Free thinking, unrestricted discussions,debates and non-judgmental attitudes has been the hall mark of this institution.The list of alumni  that had walked the steps of this pre-eminent campus lends an aura to this place.I was enthralled with the atmosphere of intellectual learning around me.

Today I am anguished that some people are hell bent on maligning this respectable institution.

What happened in JNU, on the morning of 9th February, should have stayed within JNU. It was a protest organised by the students outside the vice-chancellor's office.The university authorities should have made enquiries and taken the necessary disciplinary action. If some individuals, whether students or outside miscreants had raised certain objectionable slogans, then actions as per law, should have been taken.Why blame the whole institution and defame its esteemed reputation.This issue should not have been allowed to snowball into this massive national controversy.

 In all free societies, students have stood by and advocated all sorts of extreme demands.They must be free to do so. American students protested against their government during the Vietnam War.The Scotish,Welsh,Quebecois in Canada,Catalans in Spain demand for secession from their home land. They are not being termed by their country as "anti-nationals"?Instead their voices are being heard as legitimate democratic claims.Their right to dissent is not questioned.

Differences in thoughts is healthy.Only open societies allow the freedom of thoughts otherwise, you have the Tiananmen Square and Tahrir Square incidents.

Our Constitution guarantees freedom of speech and expression, within limitations of course. And slogans raised at a students meet although a little reckless and volatile,can hardly be said to breach those limits.

Youth is the time of fearlessness, the age to take up challenges and the age when mistakes are committed. Is it fair to blame the whole illustrious institution for this fiasco?