13 July 2014

The Great Indian Dress Code!

No bikinis on Goa beaches': After short dresses, minister calls for ban on skimpy swimwear 'to prevent sex attacks'.
 ‘Union minister of state for tourism  wants to end ‘pub culture’.
 13/7/2014 headlines on TOI.

Dear Minister
 I applaud your wisdom and mature observation regarding crime and its prevention in your beautiful state of Goa. Your esteemed self has rightly, in the manner of a fine, cultured and highly educated person, given this conclusion that  pubs ,short dresses and bikinis (hope I got the order correct, saar?) lead to crimes. Your duty to uphold our Great Indian Culture is truly an honorable decision.

 May I as a humble citizen of this nation make a very small suggestion in this regard? (Of course with your permission, saar!)

Firstly, why not introduce a dress code saar? This dress should cover from head to toe. Nothing except the eyes should be exposed (the female species are known to seduce even with bewitching eyes) so the eyes too should only be seen through a net.

The Dress-Code!

 The implementation of such an extra-ordinary dress code will not only boost tourism but also earn you laurels from party high command. You will be upholding the GREAT INDIAN CULTURE!!(Thundering applause: background score)People will visit your state from every corner of the planet to witness such a unique place which has such a beautiful dress-code. The Taliban will be dammed (we will beat them on this score)
Secondly, brigades of Goa Moral police (these can be party supporters and happy volunteers) should move around the whole state (in similar dress code) and catch the violators. A public lashing (minimum 5 lashes) should be accorded to such indecent public who dare to wear short western outfits or the equally scandalous outfit called the BIKINI!

 Such dresses tantalize the vulnerable Indian male, transforms him into a violent criminal! The strong grounding he received in his morally righteous Indian upbringing  just melts away like butter at the sight of such alluring clothing. The Great Indian value system crumbles when he witnesses such indecently clad persons especially in the pristine beaches of Goa. And when he is forced (much against his will) to visit bars and pubs and down a few drinks, the helpless and powerless male loses his mind and is tormented to break his ties with his pure desi-bred culture and values. He becomes an animal who is compelled to rape. He is absolutely innocent and cannot be held responsible or guilty in any score for his sex crimes! He is after all The Great Indian Male (hail to thee!)

 Dear Minister, I am awed at your innate judgment and insight. I salute you. It is only leaders like you who can lead our nation to earn new laurels in today’s progressive world. We shall give excellent competition and sleepless nights to the likes of the Taliban and Boku-Haram. They will have to come up with more innovative ways to deal with those vultures of western society and cultivators of immoral women who visit pubs in bikinis and go to beaches in short dresses. (Deliberate mix up) They are all the same these scum bags, these dirty women. They are all evil, evil westernized women and they should all burn in hell or wear the new dress
code. After all what you want is just to protect them.
 Uphold the  Indian naari of this Great Indian nation and uphold our culture, isn’t it Saar?!


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