My COVID-19 Story

Tomorrow marks one month since I contracted the Covid-19 infection. The contagious virus robbed me of all my strength. Although my symptoms were mild, yet it rendered me without smell or taste for a fortnight, and this was most annoying. I had religiously been following all the rules of washing my hands regularly, wearing a mask and generally living a hermit’s life inside my house since 25^th March. Where I had contacted the virus was a mystery that even a crime buff like me couldn’t solve.

I lay in bed trying to do a slow rewind of the events prior to me testing positive for Covid-19. The contact tracing led me to a global conference which I had attended some time ago.That’s where I must have been infected with the virus! 

The conference was being held in a strange and unfamiliar place. Almost all the species of the planet were participating in this meeting.

The Red Sea Urchin and the Koi Fish had called this urgent meeting and had asked the Arctic Terns to pass the message around. The agenda was something like ‘Global Warming: It’s Effects on the Habitat and Food of all Species of Planet Earth’.

It was a noisy group and everyone was trying to be heard. Lonesome George (a giant tortoise who was about 457 years old) presided over the meeting and was having a difficult time controlling everyone. Voices resounded in anger and I could barely make out the wise Chimpanzee and the dolphin speak about destruction of forests, illegal mining of land and oil spills (they mostly avoided the word human so as not to hurt my feelings).

“Just because we cannot speak their language they make us suffer and use us for medical research. It’s absolutely unethical,” squeaked the hamster.

“We are crammed into small spaces, fattened, inseminated, castrated and then taken to be slaughtered. No dignity in life and no dignity in death!” mooed the Japanese Wagyu.

“Well, we could send another virus!” said the high pitched Flying Fox Bat who was hanging upside down in the balcony seat behind me.

“We have given them the HIV/AIDS, the Ebola, the SARS, Swine Flu and what not, but nothing stops them from treating our brothers with cruelty,” oinked the Hog.

“We need to put brakes on this madding pace of destruction. Let’s stop them in their tracts and lock them in their homes, at least for a while!” screeched the Scarlet Macaw.  

The crammed room pulsated with emotions and frustrations. And in the end it was decided that the Bat would fly to the farthest north and drop its guano (also known as ‘poop’ in common parlance) in the wet markets at Wuhan in China, and the well-developed transport system invented by humans would “crown” the deal (corona comes from the Latin word crown).

I woke up from this bizarre dream with a sore throat and running a fever.The free drinks that were being passed around by the Pangolin (the poor chap is the most trafficked species in the world) may have had the virus. I did catch a sneaky smile on his scaly face.

Here are some of the messages that were read out in the conference which I was told to spread to my fellow humans: respect the planet, be more humane towards all species, ban live markets where animals are treated with cruelty, stop wildlife trafficking, stop destroying land and water bodies, protect the environment and curb climate change.

And in the end they all sang the anthem – 'Earth Song' by Michael Jackson, which I have been humming since.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAi3VTSdTxU

My Mother's Cow

With all this 'tamasha' going on in India about cow crusade and 'Gau-Raksha',I am reminded of a funny incident from my childhood related to the 'gaiya' or 'goru' as we in the Brahmaputra valley call the cow.

By the way,'Goru' is also used as a harmless abuse in Assam.We use it to insult anyone who we think has less brains and is an idiotic simpleton.(If any member of the RSS is reading this,please ignore!)

 

                                                                                                   Gau Mata

Politics is obnoxious,let's not bring that up.Today I just want to share this cute little story about a cow.

My mother came from a land owning community in Kerala.They had lots of cows,goats,chickens, ducks around their house.When she married and settled down in Assam,she missed her 'mini Kerala zoo'.And so she kept whatever animal she could in our little house in Guwahati.
Guinea  pigs,dogs,cats,rabbits,pigeons,parrots,fish,all shared space with us during our growing up years.

One fine day my mother decided we had to own a cow too.Our 1200 square yard of grassy lawn seemed a waste with no cows grazing on it she stated matter-of-factly.The children could get fresh unadulterated milk and butter she reasoned.After a lot of cajoling my dad finally agreed to buy a cow.

The cow came with much fanfare.A shed was specially made for her and a Nepali help was employed to perform the cow duties.

                 And so we owned a cow.

One summer afternoon I woke up to loud heated arguments between my mother and kancha (the Nepali help).It transpired that OUR COW HAD DISAPPEARED!

My mother was in a fit.She ordered my dad to cut short his much loved siesta and go on a cow-hunting spree around town and not return till the animal was found.

After almost three hours of cow-hunt dad was finally back.He ordered my mother to serve him some  tea and said he had been successful in locating the cow. Kancha was bringing the lost cow back tied firmly with a rope.

 When the cow finally came home,my mother ran to the gate to receive her.But to her utter horror and shock it wasn't our cow!

                                                                     

                   I am the wrong cow!

Kancha was then asked to go right back and return the wrong cow from the place where they had found her munching merrily on the garbage.We couldn't keep someone else's cow my mother concluded firmly. 

And so off went Kancha to return the wrong cow.As luck would have it,on his way back, he was confronted by a couple of men who were out searching for their "lost cow"!They saw our Kancha pulling the cow with a rope and walking down the street.Nepalis in Assam are not very fluent in Assamese or Hindi so although Kancha tried his level best to explain things to them,they didn't buy his story and I guess it was too complicated anyways.The  men beat him up calling him a cow-thief. Kancha left our house that very day,"no cow,no Kancha"he said, refusing to take up any other domestic responsibilities.

What followed is any one's guess.My dad remained at the receiving end of my mother's mutterings and nagging for his failed attempts at  "Gau-Raksha"!