Where Is The Party Tonight?

Once a really long time ago when I was around 7 years old, my sister and I had been invited to a birthday party. Unfortunately we didn't know anybody at the party. Our parents (busy as they always were, had dropped us at the venue and left).For the next hour or so we both sat in a corner, shyly surveying the noisy bunch.Immaturity and lack of confidence made us hesitate in joining in the games. When the food was served I badly wanted to take a second helping of cake. My sister felt this would be impolite. So being the wiser of the two, she stopped me.

My Sister and Me.

That day I came back home low-spirited and full of remorse at having lost out on an evening of fun, food and games. It was my shyness and reluctance that was to be blamed that day.

Every time I walk into a gathering of strangers, I recollect that birthday party.What fun all the children appeared to be having, how badly I had wanted to join in and how much I wanted that second slice of cake!

 So I decided that ambivalence was not going to be a part of my dictionary as far as interactions in  social gathering is concerned.

 It’s a strange paradox actually that I am quite a social recluse and yet, when thrown into a party scene I end up fully enjoying myself!

 When the option of going to a party or bunking it is put before me I prefer to relax at home over a TV dinner. But sometimes unavoidable and forced to go, I pin a smile, wear my most civil face, move up to the group that seems most amenable and say a cheerful hello. It may seem a little brazen, but I never hesitate to introduce myself and start the conversation.

 The one big advantage with growing old is you gain in confidence (although you continue to think of yourself as in your twenties!)

Hope you have read my earlier post on growing old. Here is its link:-http://nimadas.blogspot.in/2014/07/the-middle-ages.html

 I find it interesting chatting up with strangers. I never run out of conversation. You could call me a chatter box! I enjoy my drink, love to move a leg, stuff myself unembarrassed on the hors d’oeuvres and end up feeling very content with myself.

I won’t call myself a party person nor the live wire of any party, yet I am not one to hesitate from opening up to people I have just met.

 I broach the topic of my roots. It’s a sure shot winner! ”I am from Assam and you?” This statement never fails to open the floodgates of genuine curiosity and sometimes some really bizarre queries as well. Once a certain high society lady wanted to know if Gauhati was situated somewhere between Ludhiana and Varanasi!

The topic of my marriage is a show stopper of sorts! And my infinite mischievous self forces me to transform our tad boring intercaste marriage into a masala Bollywood melodrama! I get  buried alive in the avalanche of killer looks from hubby dear. But I bask in all that attention and bloom in those glorious minutes when I hog the limelight with interesting twists and tales.

 I can accelerate from one topic to another at formula one speed without a shred of inhibition! I stumble, fall flat on my face, put my foot in my mouth and yet who is to stop my chattering! I wonder if people can guess when they see me in this public performance that I was initially reluctant to come to the party!

They don’t know that I have taken a resolution some 40 years ago-

 Never sit in a corner alone at any party.Move around and interact with everyone with a beaming happy smile and to definitely eat the second helping of cake!

Smile Please!

“ Smile and the world smiles with you”

These wise words spoken a long time ago rings so much truth. When I returned from my stay abroad, the first thing I noticed besides the noise and the dirt of course, was how we Indians walked around with sad grumpy faces

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 Is the reason for not smiling something to do with the fact that it is considered being below your dignity to smile at any Tom Dick and Harry?

When I am abroad I notice people just smile at you on eye contact in malls, on the roads, in public transport. Either you don’t look at faces or you do and then nod or smile. It’s called being polite.

We Indians either just stare without expression or look sad and distant. A bunch of stony-faces that’s what we see every day everywhere!

In a class-room full of children, the teacher walks in, how many children actually smile on seeing her? Very few! You reach your destination, do you hand over the fare to the cabbie with a smile? Tsk! I doubt it! It’s your turn at the cashier, the poor guy has had a tough day, and do we award him with a smile? Nope! 

A little smile can sometimes go a long way especially at a new place when you are desperate to make new contacts and friends, a smile earns you a high score on that front!

A smile speaks volumes. It can be interpreted as sympathy, as support, as understanding, as being an open person. What’s the harm if we smile at strangers? Why live your life fearing everyone and everything?

I for one have zero problem in smiling at a room full of strangers and introducing myself. This change in me happened when, once a long time ago, I sat and brooded at a social do and wasted 3 or 4 hours not speaking or smiling at anyone! Returning home grumpy and irritated at the wasted evening, I made a promise to myself that this will never happen again. And it hasn’t!

So all it takes is a few muscles spreading to increase the value of your face, banish that thought about crooked and gaping teeth, and just say CHEESE! Watch the cheer spread!