In all FAIRness!

“Your parents adopted you, didn’t you know that? That’s the reason you are dark and your sister so fair and beautiful!”

I was about 8 years old, in a boarding school and emotionally scarred by these mean words by fellow mates. Oh! The traumas of childhood bullying! But wait I turned out okay, did well for myself. I look good for someone in the wrong side of forty (make that the right side actually!). But I wasted years being miserable thinking I was ugly because in our country dark is ugly!

What’s with Indians and fairness?

Kaya clinics and Vandana Luthra parlours rack the moolah on this weakness of Indian mind-set.

“Gora-pan panay ke liye log kya kya nahi kartay!”

Why is it considered superior to be fair skinned? An educated upper caste women must be fair! Says who?

In commercials a dark girl is shown being rejected in her job, she fails the interview, looks dejected- almost suicidal. Nobody likes a dark skinned girl! She is advised to start using a particular whiting cream and lo and behold she is transformed into this fair, smart and confident person (curtains billowing in the wind). And she even gets the job, the boy, and that elusive assignment (whatever!). The world falls at her feet!

You poor struggling souls out there, there is no need to break your heads pouring over books preparing for that illusive degree, job-hunting yourselves crazy, just race to the nearest chemist and get a hold of that savvy life-changing cream, that magic portion  and  your life is transformed into a fairy land where nothing is impossible!

The newspaper matrimonial screamed “Fair slim convent educated homely girl” to whoever was interested! I shudder to think the ‘unfair’ fate that descends upon the not so fair, not so slim and not so homely girls of this great motherland!

Hey, let’s sit up take a deep breath and stop that depressing train of thought.

Remove those posters of Katrina Kaifs and Kareena Kapoors from your mental walls (who has them anyway?). We do have our own lovely talented dusky role models in Bollywood like Nandita Das, Bipasha Basu, Frieda Pinto, who carved a niche for themselves in spite of their colour pigment being the wrong shade. Who is asking Chanda Kocchar, Arundhati Roy, Kiran Mazumdar Shaw, Nina Davuluri their fairness quotient?

Now why can’t it just be a matter of individual choice: to be fair or not to be? And who is to argue with the age old English proverb “Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder”?

I rest my case in the hands of the fair and unbiased! Judge me for my writing, come on! Be fair!!

Being Indian

'Bruised Souls' By Nirupam Borboruah

My husband faced his first instance of racism 22 years ago in Assam. His Assamese father-in-law had just picked him up from the station and was bringing him home, pointing to some shanty huts on the way he said casually, these “Biharis” have come and made this once beautiful place dirty and filthy. The poor chap didn’t know how to respond as he was a “Bihari” born and bred and a proud one at that.

My husband has done his post-graduation from the iconic Delhi University. The campus was full of “harries” (Biharis) as they were referred to as in the 80s.They were the target of jokes and taunts by the local Delhites, these sometimes got pretty violent too

I am from Assam (and people disbelieve this as I am not remotely mongoloid in looks) and my friends from the other north-east states often called ‘chinkies’, ’Nepalese’ or even ‘Chinese’ in the D.U campus, were always presumed to be very casual and western in their life-styles. I had a friend from Nagaland, mongoloid features and all, she was the most introvert and shy creature I have ever come across. She never opened up to strangers, weighed her words and checked her behavior. She was solemn and serious on all occasions. Now this was contrary to the mind-set that the people had about the tribes of Naga land. They presumed she would be the typical north-east types-casual and easy-going, out to have fun, very ‘western’ in dress and outlook. Alas she was but the exact opposite.

What parallels do we draw from these examples? 

That Indians are prejudiced about everybody. Just because someone is from a certain part of the country, we are biased about them. We joke and make fun of people from anywhere. We have zero tolerance to those who are different from us. We are chauvinist in our attitude to anyone who is not from our caste, region, religion, community, who speak a different language, or who look different. The more the difference between ‘them’ and ‘us’, the more judgmental and dogmatic we become. We harbour narrow-minded opinions and views about the ‘differences’. We are sometimes hurtful and mean, and sometimes as in the case of thousands of Nido Tanias with violent consequences.

It may be someone from south then it’s “Madrasi” and they are fools, unless they are from Kerala then they are ‘kali-pilli nurses’. 

Punjabis (Sardars) are stupid and their stupidity strikes at 12 noon mostly! I lived in Punjab but never witnessed it and I pity the many Sikhs who are named Banta Singhs. 

Gujarati’s are gaudy and spend-thrift! And so are the Marwaris! Bengalis are snobs and argumentative. And the gibes continue, engulfing almost everybody!

We feel so proud and superior that we mock and make fun of anyone who is even slightly different from us. Yes we are xenophobic, bias and chauvinist and full blown RACISTS!!!

Life is tough in India being an Indian!