Sunday, November 23, 2014

Marriages Are Made In heaven!

Bhavna was studying at a prestigious Delhi University collage. She had dreams and aspirations like any other 20 year old, raised at Delhi’s NCR. She met a young and dashing senior at the campus. They fell in love and decided they wanted to spend the future together. Her family found out about the affair. They tried to convince Bhavna to change her mind.Told her the boy's caste was different. They tried their best to persuade her to forget her love. When nothing worked they strangulated her till life left her young body.

 A few years ago Nitish kataria, a dynamic young businessman dared to love a girl of another caste.He was beaten and  burnt alive. Such  events shock the intelligentsia of any country.

Urban India’s children fed on American soaps, burgers, pizzas, western dress and mall culture are mostly unaware of the social milieu of India. Indian caste ethos is not fully comprehended by them. Their source of information on Indian culture and society comes from Bollywood and rudimentary school text books. How are they suppose to understand the regressive and conservative mind set of their family elders?

Killing or harming your own child is the work of a pathological mind! No healthy parent can take such an action. No discussions warranted on this.

 Parents who oppose their children’s choice of future life partner on grounds of caste, religion and even gender, need to understand the basic mechanisms of how marriage works.

Marriage is one of the oldest social institutions that is in existence today. People marry for various reasons but to stay married compatibility is important. Compatibility can transcend all barriers and differences.

 I met my husband in Delhi University’s north campus 26 years ago. We belong to different castes and came from different regions of India. I couldn't  speak fluent Hindi and was quite ignorant of Bihar's social stratification . In spite of many  storms and turbulence we survived. Our marriage survived.

 My parents belong to different religious sects. They celebrated their Golden Wedding Anniversary (50 yrs) few years ago.

 Empathy,trust and giving each other space is some of the basic requirements for the smooth functioning of this remarkable institution. Religion, I believe is a private matter and caste  has no role to play in a marriage. Differences in culture, food and such other issues can  be worked on.
Whether by their own choice or by their parent’s choice couples marry and mostly remain so. Married couples live, work, raise children to the best of their ability and give companionship to each other especially in old age.  How does caste, religion, society or anyone else figure in the private lives of two individuals who have decided they want to live together?

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