Time Flies

Less than a month left for her to leave the house and move to a hostel! The thought fills me with dread. Can a month sometimes seem too short? Where do I begin?

My mind races back to the days when she was a toddler. We ooohhed and aaaaahhed her every milestone. The sight of her toothless grin which lasted alas only just a few months: priceless!  Her comical crawling style avoiding her knees on the floor technique, mispronouncing words in a unique gabble, her fascination for the Bindi, my dupatta, my lipsticks, even my hair! Dolling up and kissing her reflection on the mirror! All this and many more memories bring a catch to my throat as I prepare for my D-day (daughter’s going to university). 

I was one obsessive parent. I used to wash her toys while she was teething in anti-septic solution! Dr.Spock was my bible and the charts given on feeds and naps on Johnson Baby Book was my almanac. I made friends with other mothers so I could exchange information on novel ways to feed, soothe, bathe and amuse her. Bedtime stories were supposed to be calming down time but ended up in her getting more excited. The dimming of lights, the A.C and the fact that her parents were around would result in her breaking off into bouts of jumping fits on the bed! I knew all her school lessons by heart and the TV cartoons she followed (Pokémon, Kids next door, Avatar) were a part of my vocabulary too! I surveyed all neighbourhood schools looking for the best, idealised the concept that nursery should be only fun- learning.

Her teenage years are filled with memories both sweet and sour. She was growing up with a mind of her own. Fiercely independent in her thinking, often leading to frequent show downs on rules and priorities!  Many a times I let her be, testing how far she would go. But she is a sensible and sensitive child and the values I had sowed were planted deep.

I learn so much from her every day. On many occasions I have followed her advice (starting a blog was her idea). 

Sometimes I get the feeling that she is much more sensible then her mom! Yes, I am her biggest fan.

Will my life be the same with her not being in the house? Not at all!

Disagreements over sleeping and waking up time (she can beat an owl in night time wakefulness), choice of food, studying too little, texting too much, and the list goes on!

Will I miss her presence in my life? You bet I will.

She/I slamming the door and walking out in a huff can’t be replaced with long distance conversations on Skype! That satisfying feeling when she polishes off the last bit of Rajma-Chawl on her plate can’t be replaced by her telling me she ate this and that at the hostel mess. Peeping into her room and hearing her soft snoring and angelic face framed on the pillow can never be replaced by her framed photograph on my desk!

They call it an empty nest syndrome and a stage in the cycle of parenthood and life. Electronics help of course and distance is now only a matter of the mind. I smile as a beautiful thought creeps into my mind, “A son is a son till he takes a wife, and a daughter's a daughter the rest of her life".

So I have a whole life time to enjoy her company! *Wicked grin spreads across my face*

5 Annoying Questions!

1) How much are they paying you? (Actual meaning- What’s your salary?)

What’s it to you man? Will you increase it? I will be lying if I say I don’t work for money. It feels nice to see my bank balance grow in long digit numbers adding up month after month. But my real payment is when the kids I have taught grow up and come back on Facebook to say “hi Ma’am, Remember me? I am a doctor/ engineer/ CA/ stand-up comedian ” …you get the picture, that’s when I get my actual pay check.

2) You only have one child? (Emphasis on one child in a slow drawl… actual meaning: one daughter? *Shocked tone!*)

Why didn’t you go in for I.V.F, surrogacy, artificial insemination, adoption, cloning? Other desperate measures that could increase the human population by one more and your family would look so much more normal? Unlike now when you three look so lonely!

Poor you! Who’s going to cremate your body, without a son?

And there is no such thing as having too less in our country, more the better, you would look so good with a brood of screaming kids around you!

Your only child looks so lonely, no wonder she is so thin! No appetite for food without her siblings grabbing the last slice of pizza from her hand, she will never know the joys of wrestling for remotes, bathroom space and privacy! Tsk, tsk! She must be having mental issues fending off her boredom and loneliness no?

3) You don’t look Assamese?(Actual meaning: You are dark and people of north-east are  supposed to be fair and have mongoloid features and go to church)

Well just maybe you have your geography and history all mixed up. The people of Assam inhabit a multi-ethnic, multi-linguistic society. Negroid, Dravidians, Tibeto-Burmese as well as Aryans had been the important groups that lived in Assam. Migration of people to Assam from North India started as early as the 4^th century .They introduced Hinduism in the North-East…….Blah blah blah!

Are you sure you can sustain more of this sociology/anthropology information, because I don’t mind carrying on.

4) Where are you from?

This is the most difficult to handle. I presume I am a homo-sapien and since homo-sapiens came from Africa and Eurasia some 200,000 years ago I too presume my ancestors came from there.

And if in case you mean like the larger picture of where we as humans came from? I would love to sit and have a chat regarding the cosmic theory vs. the Christian/Hindu concepts of man’s evolution!

Unless of course if you mean in the recent past , then I came from home and my home is at present in xyz city and before that it was in xyz city and before that ……I think I need a drink now (head to bar area).

5) Hello! Who is speaking?

Since you called and you dialed those numbers, you will have a better idea, no? As for me I am still trying to figure that question out myself! Why am I continuing this conversation? Hangs up phone!