1) How much are they paying you?
(Actual meaning- What’s your salary?)
What’s it to you man? Will you increase it?
I will be lying if I say I don’t work for money. It feels nice to see my bank
balance grow in long digit numbers adding up month after month. But my real
payment is when the kids I have taught grow up and come back on Facebook
to say “hi Ma’am, Remember me? I am a doctor/ engineer/ CA/ stand-up comedian ” …you get the picture, that’s when I get my actual pay check.
2) You only have one child? (Emphasis on one child in a slow drawl… actual
meaning: one daughter? *Shocked tone!*)
Why didn’t you go in for I.V.F, surrogacy, artificial
insemination, adoption, cloning? Other desperate measures that could increase
the human population by one more and your family would look so much more
normal? Unlike now when you three look so lonely!
Poor you! Who’s going to cremate your body,
without a son?
And there is no such thing as having too
less in our country, more the better, you would look so good with a brood of
screaming kids around you!
Your only child looks so lonely, no wonder
she is so thin! No appetite for food without her siblings grabbing the last
slice of pizza from her hand, she will never know the joys of wrestling for
remotes, bathroom space and privacy! Tsk, tsk! She must be having mental
issues fending off her boredom and loneliness no?
3) You don’t look Assamese?(Actual
meaning: You are dark and people of north-east are supposed to be fair and have mongoloid
features and go to church)
Well just maybe you have your geography and
history all mixed up. The people of Assam inhabit a multi-ethnic, multi-linguistic
society. Negroid, Dravidians, Tibeto-Burmese as well as Aryans had been the important groups that lived
in Assam. Migration of people to Assam from North India started as early as the
4th century .They introduced Hinduism in the North-East…….Blah blah blah!
Are you sure you can sustain more of this
sociology/anthropology information, because I don’t mind carrying on.
4) Where are you from?
This is the most difficult to handle. I
presume I am a homo-sapien and since homo-sapiens came from Africa and Eurasia
some 200,000 years ago I too presume my ancestors came from there.
And if in case you mean like the larger
picture of where we as humans came from? I would love to sit and have a chat
regarding the cosmic theory vs. the Christian/Hindu concepts of man’s
evolution!
Unless of course if you mean in the recent
past , then I came from home and my home is at present in xyz city and before
that it was in xyz city and before that ……I think I need a drink now (head to
bar area).
5) Hello! Who is speaking?
Since you called and you dialed those
numbers, you will have a better idea, no? As for me I am still trying to figure
that question out myself! Why am I continuing this conversation? Hangs up
phone!
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