On Being Unladylike

I have a confession to make. I’m going to ignore the fact that this is a lousy place to make a confession. I think I don’t have a single ladylike bone (if there is such a thing) in me. I realized this many many summers ago. My earliest memory (now isn’t memory a fickle thing) is of this very gawky teenager dropping her big sister’s nail polish bottle and staring at the ugly spill on the floor. Why i picked up the bottle in the first place beats me, because I never knew what it was for anyway. I used to wear my sister’s hand me downs or her “designed” dresses. Yeah we are old; we belong to the era before readymade clothes. I remember staring at women’s magazines and wondering how they managed to look so pretty, totally ignorant about such things as make-up, hair style, waxing and what have you till almost my late 20s. These days I see girls who are in their single digit age discussing ombre hair and nail art (who ever thought of such atrocious things?).

When I got married and set up house, my dear hubby(God bless him), set up the kitchen, brought all the knick-knacks  and even taught me to make tea, cook daal, rice and a basic meal. The rest I learnt (literally) from around the country where ever we went on postings and had friendly neighbours (they are a rare thing, let me tell you).

 Embroidery is like Latin and Greek to me, i can’t seem to be able to even thread a needle. When i was in school and we had needle and craft classes, all my final products for submission looked so good (with 100% contributions from mother and sister) that my teacher never believed they were mine inspite of my eye lash batting looks!!! These days bad eye sight is a good excuse, but imagine me as a new bride in my in-laws house, when my extremely talented sister-in-law starts filling a whole bed cover with intricate creepers and flowers! And when my mom-in-law tells me to knead the flour for chappatis (I fibbed a stomach pain and disappeared into the toilet till the coast was clear!)

When we invite guests over for dinner i stick to safe dishes like Paneer, Chicken, Dal, rice or order dinner from outside. Wait, isn’t a get together with friends suppose to be fun and not a platform to show off your cooking skills? Then i die of guilt when we go over to exotic Moroccan or Malaysian dinner spread  and the hostess proudly  announces  “I made all the food myself!” and I practice my fake awe look and polish off a  few more hors-d’oeuvre!

I am so useless with art skills (painting, sketching, photography, paper cutting, even drawing a straight line) that when my daughter gets projects from school, no marks for guessing where i run to. She now has all the skills to handle those scary projects all on her own.

Now, being unladylike comes with a lot of disadvantages, especially since i am a mother of a very ladylike girl- she even has a blog called “All That Estrogen”! But i have an advantage- my better half (now that’s the reason why we call them that) is highly skilled in cooking. He loves to cook! The more exotic, the taster the dish he turns out. He loves buying the weekly vegetables, fruits and non-veg. He loves to plan the menu and has green fingers in our garden. My daughter and he sit and plan the furniture and other stuff when we move into a new house, choose the curtains and the paint for the walls. Thank heaven my daughter is quite ladylike and yes she bakes cup-cakes and does her own French manicure!

(Brownies my daughter baked yesterday!)

Morning Walk

Its difficult at first, but then you get used to it and then it becomes so much a part of your daily ritual that you can't seem to start your day without it.
My day begins with a steaming hot cup of Assam tea, yeah I have been adviced on the goodness of warm water with lime juice and honey, but what's life if we can't enjoy our own beverage.

I quickly tie my walking shoes, thanking the mastermind inventor of it (my heels actually thank him/her). At this point I am in a great hurry to be out and my sluggish husband always tests my morning patience by dilly-dallying in searching of things like keys, socks, cellphone....AAAAAGGGGG!!!

And then I am off. The fresh air hits my lungs and my limbs are raring to go.
When that lazy lump of a husband decides to sleep in, I take my ipod and plunge into a musical world. Sometimes the nonsensical lyrics of Honey Singh make me smile in memory of days in Ludhiana, Punjab. Nikki Minaj and Jessie J pep me up with my loveliest memories of the U.K, Bollywood songs bring longing for  Mumbai and the romantic Marine Drive.
And before this piece of writing becomes a trip down memory lane, back to mornings.

My companions come in all shapes and sizes! There are those who struggle, pant and puff; Those who race and overtake others like they are the Donald Trumps of the walking track. Some people put their music on speakers so when they cross you you know what their taste in music is like- Bhajans mostly or old Bollywood hits. Now speaking of which, I feel the kind of music one listens to is like a window to the kind of person you are.

Okay back to morning walks- one interesting thing I often observe is the way people glance at each other when they cross each other's paths. Some seem to look you up and down and say "Tsk!Tsk! so overweight!!" While some kind of admire you silently or maybe like my Hubby says who has the time like you to think so much?

Have you noticed how people do the stretching and the exercising? Some look so hilarious, I actually saw a man holding a tree and swinging around it!A women doing some kind of breathing exercise that seems like she was gasping for breath!Some people clap as they walk,is it to cheer themselves or some kind of yogic stance?

Here I must again bring back Mumbai to tell you all about my fantastic Marine Drive morning walks- the thing about Mumbai is nobody looks at anybody. Its as if you don't exist. People walk alone, or as couples or as the typical SOBO Gujju businessmen group,more I think to discuss their deals, mixing business with exercise. And the open sea, the crashing waves..... but all that some other time. Back to sweet Nagpur morning walks.See the best thing in Nagpur is the forest at Seminary Hills and that is  where I take my morning walks. If I need a reason why I am inspired to tumble out of bed every morning it must be this.

And as it often happens in the middle of my walking, I am seized by an urgent need to sit down or bunk the walk midway and cheat myself off the track and take a detour or a shortcut;I can't. See that's the beauty of the "forest walk" in Nagpur, they have a narrow jogging track and you are forced to complete the whole round at least once (almost like life itself, no shortcuts and no going back)!
So at the end you reach back home tired but with euphoric feelings and muscle soreness, but the endorphins released in the body making you feel exhilarated and ready to face your day!
See you in the morning!