Being Indian

'Bruised Souls' By Nirupam Borboruah

My husband faced his first instance of racism 22 years ago in Assam. His Assamese father-in-law had just picked him up from the station and was bringing him home, pointing to some shanty huts on the way he said casually, these “Biharis” have come and made this once beautiful place dirty and filthy. The poor chap didn’t know how to respond as he was a “Bihari” born and bred and a proud one at that.

My husband has done his post-graduation from the iconic Delhi University. The campus was full of “harries” (Biharis) as they were referred to as in the 80s.They were the target of jokes and taunts by the local Delhites, these sometimes got pretty violent too

I am from Assam (and people disbelieve this as I am not remotely mongoloid in looks) and my friends from the other north-east states often called ‘chinkies’, ’Nepalese’ or even ‘Chinese’ in the D.U campus, were always presumed to be very casual and western in their life-styles. I had a friend from Nagaland, mongoloid features and all, she was the most introvert and shy creature I have ever come across. She never opened up to strangers, weighed her words and checked her behavior. She was solemn and serious on all occasions. Now this was contrary to the mind-set that the people had about the tribes of Naga land. They presumed she would be the typical north-east types-casual and easy-going, out to have fun, very ‘western’ in dress and outlook. Alas she was but the exact opposite.

What parallels do we draw from these examples? 

That Indians are prejudiced about everybody. Just because someone is from a certain part of the country, we are biased about them. We joke and make fun of people from anywhere. We have zero tolerance to those who are different from us. We are chauvinist in our attitude to anyone who is not from our caste, region, religion, community, who speak a different language, or who look different. The more the difference between ‘them’ and ‘us’, the more judgmental and dogmatic we become. We harbour narrow-minded opinions and views about the ‘differences’. We are sometimes hurtful and mean, and sometimes as in the case of thousands of Nido Tanias with violent consequences.

It may be someone from south then it’s “Madrasi” and they are fools, unless they are from Kerala then they are ‘kali-pilli nurses’. 

Punjabis (Sardars) are stupid and their stupidity strikes at 12 noon mostly! I lived in Punjab but never witnessed it and I pity the many Sikhs who are named Banta Singhs. 

Gujarati’s are gaudy and spend-thrift! And so are the Marwaris! Bengalis are snobs and argumentative. And the gibes continue, engulfing almost everybody!

We feel so proud and superior that we mock and make fun of anyone who is even slightly different from us. Yes we are xenophobic, bias and chauvinist and full blown RACISTS!!!

Life is tough in India being an Indian!

Book Review: The Lowland by Jhumpa Lahiri

“Two brothers bound by tragedy; a fiercely brilliant woman haunted by her past; a country torn by revolution. A powerful new novel--set in both India and America--that explores the price of idealism and a love that can last long past death.” The blurb at the back of the novel reads. The Lowland is this and much more- A story of two brothers, separated by fate. One of them, Udayan, is drawn into the Naxalite movement of 1960s while the other, Subhash, leaves for the U.S for research. Their growing up years in Calcutta’s Tollygunge and then how each face their individual destiny is this story, written by Pulitzer Prize winning author Jhumpa Lahiri.

This is Jhumpa Lahiri’s 4th novel. Her previous works of fiction, ‘Interpreter of Maladies’, ’The Namesake’, and ‘Unaccustomed Earth’ all deal with migrant Indians in the U.S. Most of her stories shift between these two countries.

The Lowland speaks about fate, will and exile; A man’s struggle to prove his love; the love for one’s family which is the bed-rock on which a man stands. The ties of blood that link us across continents. It is an intimate tale that revolves around its four main characters and their points of view.

The story will leave you crying at some places and smiling at others. The typical middle-class aspirations of Indians, the enthusiasm for adventures when you are young,  the relation between individuals within the family, all so well described by the author that you feel you are a part of their lives and you belong to that era and land. The book explores human relationships and at the same time the individual’s struggle to establish an identity for himself. This is Jhumpa Lahiri at her best. Pick up this book today and I promise you, you will be swept off by its drama, tragedy and suspense, and you can’t put it down till the last page is read.

Advisors Ltd.

 I was on my routine morning walk, music plugged in, smile on my face, wind in my hair, minding my own business, when suddenly a middle aged man sprang up out of nowhere. Indicating my earplugs he mumbled something. Most respectfully I took out the ear plugs and listened to what he had to say.” it’s not good for your health madam”. What? Wait, do I know you? I mean who even gave this man the right to interrupt my peace of mind? Who asked him for his advice? Who was this man?

I was at a social gathering the other day, trying to blend in, looking for some local chit-chat. It was then that I noticed that all the ladies around me were very seriously discussing something. On closer observation I realized that all they were doing was giving their inputs, with very serious tones, on what were their best solutions to problems such as good health, marriages, tackling in-laws, raising kids, raising dogs, training maids, achieving, nirvana and gaining moksha! Their solutions ranging from the humble flax-seed to lemon water concoctions, soups, chickpeas, keeping silence, jasmine tea, deep breathing, ‘The Secret’, warm coconut oil, The Art of Living, salt water gargling, Nirmal Baba! They strutted around in intricate plumes and vibrant colours, targeting meek creatures like myself. The avalanche of free advices cascading down buried me neck deep in the planet of doom and melancholy! Hold on, what qualifies them to be walking wiki-aunts? I mean who even needs their advice, did I ask for it? Most certainly not!

 

My hair-dresser is a compulsive talker. She doesn’t even stop in between sentences to catch a breath! And its solutions and advices all the way. She has the perfect cure for falling hair, thinning hair, greying hair, oily skin, dry skin, and the best part is I never even ask for the advice.

My bai the other day advised me to add kerosene to the poccha water, to get rid of ants. I had only mentioned the fact that there seems to be a lot of ants here. My neighbour advices me to turn vegetarian for purity of my soul, my child’s class-teacher advices me to switch to green tea for cleansing my body, my cousin twice-removed advises me to meditate for calming my mind. These pleasant natured folks are a determined lot, determined to brain wash me with their ‘superior’ intelligence and vast sea of experiences! But who gives them the authority to tell me what I want to do or not to do with my life? Who credits them to dole out advices? 

This breed of advisors can pounce on you anywhere. In public transport, parks, malls, temples, parties, Parent-teacher meetings, even at funerals. You got to be kidding me, escape? There is no escaping them. They are all over the place. You have to be firm. Being polite only adds to their zeal and they might bludgeon you more. They have their own unique styles, some give anecdotes to give authenticity to their advice, some may invite you over to tea to demonstrate, but don’t fall into that trap, they are out to kill your peace of mind. They will not spare you, till you finally give in and slowly one fine day you will turn out exactly like them. Now now, calm down, take a deep breath, don’t want that B.P going up, do we? Here is a bit of “advice” (I am infected too now, a zombie out looking for my prey) turn on that Wi-Fi, go on Google, get that ADVICE!!