And The World Will Be As One!

Another blogger murdered in broad day light! Ananta Bijoy Das wrote against religious fundamentalism. He stood for rational thinking and dared to question established dogmas. Beside being a banker he was also the editor of a quarterly magazine called Jukti, meaning logic (and how illogical was his killing!).  His secular views clashed with the religious fanaticism that is growing across the globe today.

I visited the website he wrote for; it’s called ‘Mokto Mona’. In Bengali it means ‘A Free Mind’.  What an irony that it couldn’t give the basic freedom of expression to its own founder Avijit Roy.

 Avijit Roy was also hacked to death for his ‘writer’s corner’ web page encouraging freethinkers,rationalists & humanists. Most of the articles in this site are about secularism and human rights.

 With the world shrinking and cultural boundaries crumbling, people are increasingly becoming intolerant of views that don’t conform to theirs. Why is fanaticism and regressive thinking growing?

For an answer to this I had to dig deep into socio-economic changes occurring all over the world.

 Breaking up of the traditional fabric of society, compounded with growing capitalism and influence of western culture is causing insecurities and apprehensions in Asian and African countries.

The 60’s and 70’s was an era of freethinking and neo liberalism. It was the age of individual growth.  

The 80's and the 90's saw revolution in Iran; break down of communist regimes, the rise of Taliban and anti-American sentiments. Today we read about young Europeans also converting into Jihadists and joining up with extreme fundamentalist groups like the Al- Qaeda and ISIS.

 And the group in Nigeria called Boku Haram even shoot people for wearing western clothes and sending their daughters to school. In such a scenario it’s not surprising that people are killing those whose views differ. Mock and make fun and you better remember the Charlie Hebdo incident! Even in India there is a growing intolerance for anything or anybody who is different, but more on this note in another post

Slowly and steadily the ugly head of irrationality and absurdity is rising and will continue to rise till a point of no return comes, but I know that the human civilization with its will to live and co-exist will eventually trample over these destructive forces and rationality will triumph.

 Brave men like Ananta Bijoy Das and Avijit Roy had lived their lives on their own terms. They taught us to care for the whole human race and not be swayed by petty sectarian bigots.

 Nehrunissa Khan (name changed) has been a Sanskrit teacher for 25 years. When plodded by my inquisitive queries she said she just loved the subject and went ahead with doing a post grad in it. She chooses to follow her passion. Her family and community stands by her. What a beautiful way to live.

 You may say I'm a dreamer, 

but I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one”.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwUGSYDKUxU 

(To Listen to the song go on the link )

India's Daughters!

 Last Sunday I watched the controversial documentary “Daughters of India”. Some people say it glorifies rape and the rapist and that it should be banned. I don’t want to get into a war of words on whether to ban it or not. I was not even appalled by the views of the rapist. The matter of fact way in which he spoke about his crime didn't surprise me; he is after all a psychopath and a criminal. What I found very disturbing was the views of the educated and respected lawyers who were interviewed in it.

In the late 1980’s once I was travelling by train from Delhi to Guwahati. Somewhere in between U.P and Bihar our train broke down and we were stranded for hours outside a non descriptive town. The people from neighboring areas had  gathered around the railway tracts to stare at us. We had got down to stretch our legs. We were a bunch of girls from the North-East all dressed in casual western wear.This incident took place many years ago but I still recall vividly the cold and piercing eyes that glared at us.It was so creepy. The locals stared at us disapprovingly almost challenging our confidence to alight from that train.

Economic growth in the last decade has opened up avenues for employment and women have started moving out of their homes for higher studies and jobs.  But the men folk haven’t changed their views. Women are treated as weak and defenceless and men have a power over them at whatever the situation .She may bring home the pay package but she also needs to look after the home and raise the kids. She dare not demand equal status and anyway she has no rights and no power to exercise her choice.

In my home we raised our daughter in a very liberal environment. We never imposed too many restrictions on her freedom. We gave her the independence to make her own choices, to think and decide for herself. But juxtapose this with a girl of let’s say another economic or social status. She may not be so fortunate. Her parents may impose restrictions on her dress, her movement, her choice of career and even her choice of friends! She too is growing in this very country isn't she? Or is there another India within India? Or are there many Indias?

 In our country, there are regions where dominance of the patriarchy is very severe. Khap panchayats exist and play a big role in deciding how women should live. There are places with severe law and order problems and women’s safety is threatened. Men from such backgrounds have their own notions of how a woman should live. How then are we ever going to achieve a uniformity in our outlook towards women?

Gender sensitization needs to be introduced in the school syllabus across the country. Schools and homes have an important role to play in bringing about a change in attitude towards girls.Treating a woman as an individual, giving her rights and respecting her is the urgent need of the hour.

 Or we might soon earn the title of being the country of rapists (with a rape capital to boot) and our students might  be refused admissions abroad.

When will we start treating our girls as equal to our boys? How many rapes does it take to wake up the citizens of a country? When are we going to change the laws and empower our women? We have to make men like Manohar Lal Sharma (the lawyer interviewed in the documentary) shut up. We need to change and  we have to change fast.

The Foot In Mouth Disease!

I was getting married and was full of bridal excitement .One day when some relatives dropped by to enquire about my fiancé, I gushed out proudly that he was 5 feet 12 inches!

You may be thinking, this can happen to a young damsel; especially before her upcoming life changing event, or maybe she is just math’s dyslexic. However, I recall being infected with this foot in mouth disease in childhood itself.

 In the boarding house where I was lodged at the age of five,  one day very confidently I told a group of seniors, my home address. They had enquired about which house I belonged to (Blue, Green, Red you get the idea)

This is my condition even today. This goes to prove that age doesn't reduce the symptoms of this serious medical condition.

At an official dinner with my husband, I once gave a fiery speech about the notorious “baba culture” we have in India. Their fakeness, pretence and the money making racket they all were into. It was much later that I understood why my husband had been giving me the silent treatment all evening. Apparently, his boss and the wife, who had been a part of my very polite audience, were also zealous disciples of a certain babaji! Hari Om!

 Once in an interview with the principal of a school, I very confidently asked him if he was a Malayalee and added that he looked exactly like one.  To this he curtly replied that he was actually a Jat from Haryana!  You can imagine how foolish I felt. But somehow this faux pas had broken the ice. The atmosphere in the room became less oppressive and yes I got the job.

• 

I am always saying the wrong things at the wrong time! My husband says it’s a wiring defect not a disease! Either I don’t hear clearly or speak too fast. I am always jumping to conclusions. At social gatherings after I have downed a few margaritas, the infection gets more pronounced but the blessing is, no one recalls anything the next day and least of all me!

 I should also give some credit to this disease; after all it’s a part of me now. It always brings about a change in expression especially on very serious and polite people. They may look shocked, confused, embarrassed or even just smile. Somehow people instantly feel more comfortable around me. They probably think how foolish/silly/dim witted I am, but I don’t mind. At my age I am way beyond trying to score brownie points. The good thing is sometimes being silly and saying the wrong stuff just makes things right.

So maybe you don’t always have to measure your words and watch where you place your foot. The journey of life gets more interesting when you sometimes make mistakes or take the wrong turn.The best part is you'll never run out of stories to recall.

Pigs Can Fly And Flu !

My blogging had reached zero balance; I was on the verge of declaring myself mentally bankrupt, when voila it hit me. A phone call and a curt voice informed me I had swine flu. How did this happen? I had not even eaten bacon or salami for months! Are you sure you haven’t mixed my swab sample with some other swine, I asked, to which I only received silence. When did humor die?

I had not been writing anything for quite a long time. Do bloggers reach a block too? Or are we the children of a lesser God, not so privileged. So what’s with my swine flu and blogging you ask?

The moment I heard the word SWINE FLU my science dyslexic mind immediately registered “Impending death”. So I promptly changed my status on WhatsApp to “Goodbye cruel world”.

I was hounded till  2 am with phone calls and please reply asap.A few of my well wishers (read dog-haters) felt I had somehow caught the infection from my newly adopted street dog. All explanations of mine on the differences in animal species fell to deaf ears.Some others linked my newly acquired H1N1 status  to an  old habit of  pigging out! Anyway,whatever the source, since now I was experiencing some difficulty in breathing and not able to sleep in an upright position I decided to make hay while the sun shines, write my blog.

As a child whenever I faked illness to avoid going to school, my parents saw through the act and send me packing. Being doctors, low grade fever, stomach pains were trivial matters for them. So I took to over reacting to situations to grab attention.

I love attention. I have a fondness for melodrama. I can joke, clown and cook up tall stories to grab eyeballs. Although Ekta Kapoor is the icing in this department I take the cake. Here is a little secret the reason I enjoy my teaching job so much is the free audience I get for my theatricals every morning (I even get paid for my histrionics).

Now thanks to the pig, I am getting so much love and attention that it has let my creative juices flow from literally the gutters! Now I finally have a post in 2015 and to think I had almost given up on writing.

So never lose hope. Inspiration can spring up from even a shitty pigsty. Oink that!

Marriages Are Made In heaven!

Bhavna was studying at a prestigious Delhi University collage. She had dreams and aspirations like any other 20 year old, raised at Delhi’s NCR. She met a young and dashing senior at the campus. They fell in love and decided they wanted to spend the future together. Her family found out about the affair. They tried to convince Bhavna to change her mind.Told her the boy's caste was different. They tried their best to persuade her to forget her love. When nothing worked they strangulated her till life left her young body.

 A few years ago Nitish kataria, a dynamic young businessman dared to love a girl of another caste.He was beaten and  burnt alive. Such  events shock the intelligentsia of any country.

Urban India’s children fed on American soaps, burgers, pizzas, western dress and mall culture are mostly unaware of the social milieu of India. Indian caste ethos is not fully comprehended by them. Their source of information on Indian culture and society comes from Bollywood and rudimentary school text books. How are they suppose to understand the regressive and conservative mind set of their family elders?

Killing or harming your own child is the work of a pathological mind! No healthy parent can take such an action. No discussions warranted on this.

 Parents who oppose their children’s choice of future life partner on grounds of caste, religion and even gender, need to understand the basic mechanisms of how marriage works.

Marriage is one of the oldest social institutions that is in existence today. People marry for various reasons but to stay married compatibility is important. Compatibility can transcend all barriers and differences.

 I met my husband in Delhi University’s north campus 26 years ago. We belong to different castes and came from different regions of India. I couldn't  speak fluent Hindi and was quite ignorant of Bihar's social stratification . In spite of many  storms and turbulence we survived. Our marriage survived.

 My parents belong to different religious sects. They celebrated their Golden Wedding Anniversary (50 yrs) few years ago.

 Empathy,trust and giving each other space is some of the basic requirements for the smooth functioning of this remarkable institution. Religion, I believe is a private matter and caste  has no role to play in a marriage. Differences in culture, food and such other issues can  be worked on.

  

Whether by their own choice or by their parent’s choice couples marry and mostly remain so. Married couples live, work, raise children to the best of their ability and give companionship to each other especially in old age.  How does caste, religion, society or anyone else figure in the private lives of two individuals who have decided they want to live together?

    

Nostalgic November

November dawns! I start to feel very special. As if this month is a celestial month of magical things about to happen. I have no clue why I  love this month. I think it’s the best month of the year. I  feel connected to people who share their birthdays in November. Maybe I  have a hang-over from reading too much of Linda Goodman in college. My birthday falls on Children’s day, that’s another reason why the day feels unique! Now I use it as an excuse to explain my infantile behavior.

When I turned 12, I once invited the whole neighborhood to my house for cake. My mother had said I could invite who ever I wished and I took advantage of it. It felt so great walking around with a beaming smile announcing to all and sundry that it was my birthday.

Although we are four years apart my sister and I have just a day in between our birthdays. For both economic and reasons of convenience my parents preferred to keep our birthday party on 15^th November. (Mine being on 14^th and her’s on 16^th).

 14th November started with festivities. On waking up I would discover goodies kept under my pillow the previous night.

 A vanilla scented eraser, a chocolate, a tin pencil box or a comic would send my young heart soaring in glee. My mum being a doctor and always hard pressed for time still managed to make my favorite dishes on this day. At school a treat awaited me since all schools distribute sweets on this day. The next day, on 15^th, there would be further gaiety to look forward to.Cousins and friends would come over with gifts to wish me Happy Birthday! Who was I to disagree? I was happy on this day too, regardless of me being born a day before!  Everyone pampered me, said nice things to make me happy and I would  be walking on sunshine these two days of the year!

Cut to the present.The day begins with cheerful wishes from family and close friends.  I get an fb page full of birthday wishes. My daughter paints me a beautiful card with loving words.  I go to work as usual. Its children's day and the children have an excuse today to behave rowdily. We have to be extra polite to them. It’s their day they keep reminding you.It’s a tiring day for teachers. The dim and indiscipline often gives me a headache. I come home tired from work and invariably decline my husband's proposal for a dine out. I prefer to curl up with t.v dinner and some peace.This is how I prefer to celebrate my birthday now.

 It feels foolish these days telling others that it’s my birthday. (Naively doing this right now on a public portal though!!) I shrink at the thought of someone asking me my age! Whoever said age is just a number is in denial and needs serious counseling.

That remarkably unique feeling on my birthday diminished with time. More pressing things need attention now. That magical day when I walked about with a grinning happy face and childishly announcing to all “It’s my happy birthday today” is long gone. The starry eyed adolescent grew up after all.Although she did take a long time doing so.

 I guess all good things must come to an end!

Pink and Orange

Clean wide streets greeted me with a smile. I looked at the lush greenery around me with amazement. It’s been almost a year since we had shifted to Nagpur but today is the first time that I appreciate all its beauty and attributes. Let me elaborate.

A year ago I lived in Mumbai. Well settled in a government flat on the posh Altamont Road. I worked at a reputed school and was on the verge of completing five years of teaching there. I had made some good friends. Weekends were filled with cycling and discovering this myriad city of dreams. But my dream was rudely interrupted by my husband’s transfer to Nagpur.

I cribbed and sulked for a long time. Saw this city as a small insignificant place. Angry at my sudden uprootment, I didn't appreciate anything about this town or its inhabitants. The people were of little importance. I saw nothing of interest here. I pined for Mumbai and rushed into her arms whenever I could. You could say I lived in the past; longing for what was my yesterdays!

This Diwali vacations we decided to go to Jaipur. Although I have visited the pink city several times before, but its forts and palaces always intrigue me. Jaipur turned out to be a horror story. The traffic was a nightmare. The city was one big garbage dump. Everywhere there was dust and plastic. Even the beautiful Jal Mahal in the middle of the lake had floating debris and scum on it.

Our stop over at Delhi too was a disappointment. Although swanky and posh, the new malls, flyovers and the Metro failed to impress me as the air quality was so pathetic and the dust almost chocking.

As we drove home from the airport I looked around me. Nagpur must be one of the cleanest and greenest cities of India. Something stirred within my heart. I think I missed this place. The clean wide roads were so impressive. The lush green Seminary Hill lay like a virgin bride welcoming me back. I missed the regal grandeur of Civil Lines, the high court and Vidhan Bhavan, the hustle and bustle of Sadar. Today I appreciate the slow pace of life here. The patience with which the very polite citizens tackle their routine actually pleases me.

It took one city’s mess to appreciate the other’s order and cleanliness; one badly managed civic body to acknowledge another efficient one. The soft sweet water, the comfortable mild winters, the almost zero traffic snags and the list of positives go on. I think I am in love again! This time it is this orange city! Hold on actually I think I am in love with my present, with TODAY!

This autumn break I learnt a difficult life’s lesson. It’s better to move out of the past and appreciate the present. Today I decided to chuck out Shelley, Faiz and Galib out of the window. Their love sick poems always yearning for the past. (“We look before and after, and pine for what is not”). Today I decided I am going to live in my present and appreciate what I have. And Cheers to that!  

Where Is The Party Tonight?

Once a really long time ago when I was around 7 years old, my sister and I had been invited to a birthday party. Unfortunately we didn't know anybody at the party. Our parents (busy as they always were, had dropped us at the venue and left).For the next hour or so we both sat in a corner, shyly surveying the noisy bunch.Immaturity and lack of confidence made us hesitate in joining in the games. When the food was served I badly wanted to take a second helping of cake. My sister felt this would be impolite. So being the wiser of the two, she stopped me.

My Sister and Me.

That day I came back home low-spirited and full of remorse at having lost out on an evening of fun, food and games. It was my shyness and reluctance that was to be blamed that day.

Every time I walk into a gathering of strangers, I recollect that birthday party.What fun all the children appeared to be having, how badly I had wanted to join in and how much I wanted that second slice of cake!

 So I decided that ambivalence was not going to be a part of my dictionary as far as interactions in  social gathering is concerned.

 It’s a strange paradox actually that I am quite a social recluse and yet, when thrown into a party scene I end up fully enjoying myself!

 When the option of going to a party or bunking it is put before me I prefer to relax at home over a TV dinner. But sometimes unavoidable and forced to go, I pin a smile, wear my most civil face, move up to the group that seems most amenable and say a cheerful hello. It may seem a little brazen, but I never hesitate to introduce myself and start the conversation.

 The one big advantage with growing old is you gain in confidence (although you continue to think of yourself as in your twenties!)

Hope you have read my earlier post on growing old. Here is its link:-http://nimadas.blogspot.in/2014/07/the-middle-ages.html

 I find it interesting chatting up with strangers. I never run out of conversation. You could call me a chatter box! I enjoy my drink, love to move a leg, stuff myself unembarrassed on the hors d’oeuvres and end up feeling very content with myself.

I won’t call myself a party person nor the live wire of any party, yet I am not one to hesitate from opening up to people I have just met.

 I broach the topic of my roots. It’s a sure shot winner! ”I am from Assam and you?” This statement never fails to open the floodgates of genuine curiosity and sometimes some really bizarre queries as well. Once a certain high society lady wanted to know if Gauhati was situated somewhere between Ludhiana and Varanasi!

The topic of my marriage is a show stopper of sorts! And my infinite mischievous self forces me to transform our tad boring intercaste marriage into a masala Bollywood melodrama! I get  buried alive in the avalanche of killer looks from hubby dear. But I bask in all that attention and bloom in those glorious minutes when I hog the limelight with interesting twists and tales.

 I can accelerate from one topic to another at formula one speed without a shred of inhibition! I stumble, fall flat on my face, put my foot in my mouth and yet who is to stop my chattering! I wonder if people can guess when they see me in this public performance that I was initially reluctant to come to the party!

They don’t know that I have taken a resolution some 40 years ago-

 Never sit in a corner alone at any party.Move around and interact with everyone with a beaming happy smile and to definitely eat the second helping of cake!

The Learner!

I started my teaching career in’91 and have taught in quite a few schools during this course of time. What I have learnt is that children are mostly the same everywhere.They usually fall into certain personality types. There are the bullies, the attention seekers, the wall-flowers, KTPs, the athletes, the monitors, the funny ones and the out for fun ones. There may be more types but it’s almost uncanny how similar children can be in personality no matter where they belong. In every place that I worked in, whether in Guwahati, Delhi, Ludhiana, Mumbai  or here in Nagpur, the school managements differ, the teachers are diverse in personality, but the children they were always the same. Here are some classic examples.

The ones which all teachers dread is the bully of the class. The bullies in the class have massive attitudes. They rarely pay attention to the teacher’s teaching. They never have their books and stationery. They will argue and test the teacher’s patience. They have an air of "I don’t give a damn, what can you do about it" Most of the time they go about rubbing people the wrong way. Children fear them and keep their distances. Some silently look up to them, hence their fan following.

Then there is the attention seekers.They flock around you. They want your love and attention. They will volunteer to help you, raise their hands to speak every time (even when they may not know the answer!) they border on hero-worshiping you. They want to know about you and want you to know about their lives. They may lack in confidence but not in their sweet smiles.

The wallflowers are the shy introverts of the class. They never speak, volunteer or have anything to contribute to any discussion. They keep to themselves and mostly mind their own business. They will sit silently during your class and avoid looking at you. In fact most days you may not even notice they are there. They usually have very few friends. Any attempt to draw them into a conversation and you get mono-syllables as reply!

KTP a term I coin to club the keen Type Performers of every class. They are excellent in academics.  They are the Toppers of the class. Their general knowledge on current affairs is outstanding. They will usually be monitors and prefects. They participate in all the extra-curricular activities. Teachers dole out praises for their talents and skills. Sometimes however, the praises get into their heads; they develop an air of superiority that borderline in rude behavior. Yet most of them are modest, well behaved, disciplined and very hard working. Teachers love them and every teacher-parent wishes for this perfect KTP child.

And the fun-loving children of the class. They are always looking for some ‘masti’! They will do anything for some light moments of humor. They get brilliant, innovative ideas of doing mischief. Very prompt at saying sorry but rarely learning lessons from their mistakes. They always find the class room a dull and boring place and they love the recess period. They have a pack of friends always hanging on to their every word.

These are just a few types of children I come across in every school that I have taught in. Children are all good at heart. Though they lack in the years of experience they are basically smart and aware of things. Adults just need to talk to them, show them what’s right and wrong. Discipline them by example, because they hate to be condemned. Leave them alone to find their own path. Today on Teacher’s Day I salute all my colleagues for guiding the children to be good humans.

The school is a miniature world. There are all sorts of personalities here that add color to life and make it the perfect place of learning. And I am a learner here.

Two Nations!

 One day after dinner Tomoko and I both went to put the trash out. Tomoko Hasegawa and I were neighbors in Durham University’s hostel apartments in the U.K. She was from Japan, living with her husband and son and we were good friends.

The covered trash cans were kept outside the apartment block in a fenced area. Somebody had left their garbage bags outside the bins. It had been a very windy day and the thrash was strewn all over the place. Tomoko looked very disturbed at this sight. She immediately got down to picking up the garbage and collecting them in a black polythene bag. I just stood there transfixed at this sight! Picking up someone else’s refuse was unthinkable for me!

   Kiyomi, another Japanese friend of mine always sorts out her garbage, rinsing out empty bottles and cans before throwing them into the recycle bin.

  Japanese children are always courteous and respectful.

Today when I watch the news of our Prime-minister visiting Japan, I remember these incidents with my Japanese friends.

Japan is JAPAN because of its people, their hard work and commitment towards their nation. A country totally destroyed and ruined at the end of Second World War again found place within the top economic and technological powers of the world.

Japanese people are disciplined and hard working. They have created the third largest economy in the world. Their Infrastructure is designed to support the people living there. The modern Japan is a product of the  commitment of the people to their duties. 

They are ready to sacrifice their rights to fulfill their duties towards the society and the country. People are taught to be responsible for their own actions. They are taught to value time.

  

 We Indians have a lot to learn from the Japanese. For one, we definitely need to be more disciplined. Our “ chalta hai”attitude about everything, our total lack of civic sense and our almost nonexistent sense of responsibility specially towards public property is evident in the red pan stains on the roads and public buildings.

                                 

                                      

     Converting every street corner into a garbage dump or a public urinal!           

    People jaywalking where ever they fancy!

 No amount of Infrastructure can remedy a nation. It’s the mindset that needs to be changed. We need a revolution, a radical movement to educate Indians. We need to be more aware of our duties and obligations towards our country.

To convert India into Japan, Indians have to be  more responsible towards their civic duties .You may clean the Ganges but if mindsets are not changed it won’t remain clean. You create infrastructure it will be misused. 

 

 Last year I read this shocking news in a Mumbai paper. Here is the link-

http://www.mumbaimirror.com/mumbai/crime/Passengers-get-dorms-they-dont-deserve-so-strip-them/articleshow/19721739.cms

 The Indian Railways had built A.C dormitories for overnight passengers at their CST station.The railways took due care to provide expensive lighting, taps and mattresses. Within a week vandals had slashed the mattresses, stolen the taps, shower heads and bulbs! A furious Railway officer is quoted to have said,” Those who complain that the railways abroad provide much better facilities should also note that people there take care of public property ”.

How true! We get the country we deserve! To create a city like Kyoto in India we need to be disciplined, responsible and hardworking. But Most of all we need to perform our civic duties just like the Japanese.